Quotes
Marriage is the death of hope.
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who cannot remember where they left things.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.