Quotes

How young can you die of old age?

Steven Wright

He was a multi-millionaire. Wanna know how he made all of his money? He designed the little diagrams that tell which way to put batteries in.

Steven Wright

George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.

Steven Wright

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Steven Wright

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Steven Wright

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.

Steven Wright

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.

Steven Wright

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

Steven Wright

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Steven Wright

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Steven Wright

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Steven Wright

Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'.

Steven Wright

All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store... with a pricing gun... She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."

Steven Wright

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

Steven Wright

A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."

Steven Wright

Men can starve from a lack of self-realization as much as they can from a lack of bread.

Richard Wright

I would hurl words into this darkness and wait for an echo, and if an echo sounded, no matter how faintly, I would send other words to tell, to march, to fight, to create a sense of hunger for life that gnaws in us all.

Richard Wright

Why, I just shake the buildings out of my sleeves.

Frank Lloyd Wright

Well, now that he's finished one building, he'll Le Corbusier go write four books about it.

Frank Lloyd Wright

We should have a system of economics that is structure, that is organic tools. We do not have it. We are all hanging by our eyebrows from skyhooks economically, just as we are architecturally.

Frank Lloyd Wright