Woody Allen

More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

Woody Allen

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

Woody Allen

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Woody Allen

Marriage is the death of hope.

Woody Allen

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

Woody Allen

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.

Woody Allen

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

Woody Allen

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Woody Allen

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Woody Allen

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Woody Allen

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.

Woody Allen

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.

Woody Allen

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Woody Allen

Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.

Woody Allen

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who cannot remember where they left things.

Woody Allen

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Woody Allen

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

Woody Allen

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

Woody Allen

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

Woody Allen