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Fred A. Allen
If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.
Fred A. Allen
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars. I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.
Fred A. Allen
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.
Fred A. Allen
California is a great place to live if you're an orange.
Fred A. Allen
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
Fred A. Allen
All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
Fred A. Allen
A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Fred A. Allen
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.
Fred A. Allen
A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Robert C. Allen
We grow because we struggle, we learn and overcome.