Louie Anderson

You have to be funny about it and honest about it. You can't leave yourself out of that mix. You have to be honest enough to say, I'm that messed-up one in the family.

Louie Anderson

Weight is a glanduar thing, as well as an emotional thing.

Louie Anderson

We were on welfare when we were kids. Thanks for reminding me of that.

Louie Anderson

We all think we're going to get out of debt.

Louie Anderson

My new book, THE F WORD, is out and available in Hardcover, Book on Tape, and a Special Collectors Edition signed by me.

Louie Anderson

My mom was a garage sale person, save money. Come on in to the garage sale, you might find a shirt. She'd get in that garage sale and point stuff out to you. There's a good fork for a nickel. Yeah, that's beautiful. It's a little high. If it were three cents I'd snap it up.

Louie Anderson

Minnesotans really think they run the whole world, I love that.

Louie Anderson

I've been in Vegas. That's where you get into the money thing. Boy, you get greedy in Vegas, you know. That's the only place that you can bet $25, get it up to $500 and refuse to quit.

Louie Anderson

I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I'll never forget the look on the young boy's face. He was devastated.

Louie Anderson

I have a cousin Ernie who buys stuff. He's got a big snowblower that's actually the biggest snowblower you can buy, with a remote control, so he doesn't even have to go outside. He's got the microwave and a satellite dish, it's all in one. He cooks and watches at the same time.

Louie Anderson

I felt ashamed for what I had done. I don't have any excuses. I did what I did. I take full responsibility for myself and my actions. I wouldn't pawn this off on anybody. I'm sorry it happened. And I hurt people.

Louie Anderson

Dr. Phil was very helpful and caring. I believe he helped all of us there and watching how to better relate, understand, and communicate with our families and loved ones. Dr. Phil recommended reading my new book.

Louie Anderson

Credit-card debt and day trading-I feel like Michael Corleone in Godfather III, just when I think out, they pull me back in.

Louie Anderson

Being on Dr. Phil was great for me! I couldn't believe I was on the show. Can you say nervous! We talked about family, my new book, and discussed the ins & outs of troubling family dynamics.

Louie Anderson

A real estate closer. Oh, what's that? I'm a real estate opener. What is a real estate closer? You mean at the end where you've got to sign all those papers?

Louie Anderson