George Ade
The time to enjoy a European tour is about three weeks after you unpack.
She was short on intellect, but long on shape.
Nothing is improbable until it moves into past tense.
It is not time for mirth and laughter, the cold, gray dawn of the morning after.
In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.
If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.
For parlor use, the vague generality is a life saver.
Do unto yourself as your neighbors do unto themselves and look pleasant.
Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry.
After being Turned Down by numerous Publishers, he had decided to write for Posterity.
A man never feels more important than when he receives a telegram containing more than ten words.
A good folly is worth what you pay for it.
A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.