Ben Affleck
You [Maria Shriver] are so wonderful. You are so beautiful. I have wanted to meet you for the longest time. I'm hitting on you because you're husband is on the other side of the room.
Yes, I'm going to be the President of the United States. You know why? You think you can get chicks by being in the movies? You can really get chicks by being the President.
Well I've never used that phrase before, but yes she is bootylicious.
There's something really great and romantic about being poor and sleeping on couches.
There is nothing worse that a thirteen-year-old boy. You're embarrassed by your parents, and you're trying to find your independance because, deep inside, you are so dependent on your mom.
Sometimes it's Britney Spears and sometimes it's Carrie Fisher. I can't tell if I've got a Lolita complex or an Oedipus complex.
Rumors about me? Calista Flockhart, Pam Anderson, and Matt Damon. That's who I'm dating.
My mother gets all mad at me if I stay in a hotel. I'm 31-years-old, and I don't want to sleep on a sleeping bag down in the basement. It's humiliating.
Matt's so metro. He wears perfume a lot of the time. He won't go out without three different moisturisers that he has to put on.
Matt and I have set a date. Matt and I will tie the knot New Years Day in the town of Swampscott, Massachusetts. Reserve your hotel rooms now. I will be having a gay marriage.
Marriage hasn't been my thing. But gay people, knock yourselves out!
Kevin is my homosexual crush. If I were gay, the first guy I would sleep with is Kevin Smith. The second one would be Leo DiCaprio - but only for the long hair he had in The Man in the Iron Mask.
If I ever woke up with a dead hooker in my hotel room, Matt would be the first person I'd call.
I'm not the type of guy who enjoys one-night stands. It leaves me feeling very empty and cynical. It's not even fun sexually. I need to feel something for the woman and entertain the vain hope that it may lead to a relationship.
I'm not known for having great relationships with ex-girlfriends, but I've been able to continue one with Gwyneth that's really valuable.
I'm always described as 'cocksure' or 'with a swagger,' and that bears no resemblance to who I feel like inside. I feel plagued by insecurity.
I remember back when I was a kid there was a comic strip called Plastic Man. His body was elastic and he could make his extremeties as long as he wanted. As a youngster I didn't fully appreciate. But I'm now thinking Plastic Man was probably pretty popular with the ladies.
I kinda see my current position like this: 'Here's your five minutes in the toy store, so you gotta do all the good movies you can before Chuck Woolery rings the bell.'
I hate the whole reluctant sex-symbol thing. It's such bull. You see these dudes greased up, in their underwear, talking about how they don't want to be a sex symbol.